1st ever text battle

It's the first text battle between a friend and me. A game we play to stay sharp in the world of dull MC's. Hajime!

[A = the homie; K = the... me.]

[A]:
You feeling lyrical my brother? Then have no fear,
It's the Sunday freestyle challenge, let me make things clear.
If you got a couple things that are dear to your life.
Best make sure that you lock em like yo cash and yo wife.
Cause I get wily coyote, straight up dumb in this bitch.
It's mEthoD on the mic and I'm up in this mix.

[K]:
So it's a battle you want, it's one you'll get,
I'm on the pulpit, purge rap of the bullshit,
So don't be foolish, I rule this game mayne
I keep on advancing while you just maintain.
So try to keep up, man, pick your feet up.
You got homies, well I got a gang like Re-Up.
I make bread like pita, it be stackable,
And my flow is comedy, you're just laughable.

[A]:
You got bread like pita? That shit's unleavened.
I let my Pillsbury rise so I got stacks up to heaven.
Drop B-minus like Devon, wait, I mean Dev-on
Battle if you must, but you win? You dead wrong.

[K]:
You ain't stackin', your rhymes straight lackin',
You ill-gamin' lame, you Lil' Wayne-jackin',
Victory comes equipped with my quips, like
I'm rapping for tips, so you can call it quits.

[A]:
Doin' too much with your words, Just be a good Asian
Be a nerd. Talking out of yo ass will have you pleading
the third. But unlike N.E.R.D. you can't see me.
You ain't big time kid, you are simply peewee.

[K]:
It take two more to plead, but it only takes you and
a blade to bleed, so mo-fo please.
I'm in the big league like my name was Jefferson
And I'd be damned if I let you ever win.
And if I do, then never 'gain, I'm a better man
in a higher rank with the better men.
My lyrics run you in circles like a rat race,
Fuck a fit lip, haters leaving with a fat face.

[A]:
I got no mercy for punk bitches like you.
Trying to kick is like kudos with brothas up in yo crew.
Say what you wish, and do what you like,
But I'm the next temptation, you just flying a kite

[K]:
You can get as much as you wanna get, but
You about as tempting as doodoo on a stick.
Honest shit, man, you need to be more trill.
I did the math, two minus two equals your skill.
I'm a force like a forcefield, and I'm at the
Top of my game so how's that floor feel?
You can't step to me, so go and ice yo feet,
Every line you come with, I got twice the heat.

[A]:
Last time I checked, that equaled nil.
And if you know rhymes that's on par with ill.
But I thought you'd know better since math is your subject.
Guess Asian's aren't that smart, at least in public.

[K]:
My math say it ain't your time, cuz read the
sign, we make our own rhymes we don't co-sign.
Cuz every angle you get at with, is merely a
tangent, and I'm a savage at this rap shit.

[A]:
Your game is like your rap: you got no swagger.
Trying to make me bleed? Ha, take lessons from MC Jagger
Put on some soap and lather cause you the dullest dagger.
I got the fire department on the way to save you with hook and ladder.

[K]:
But I got the jaws of life, my rap makes babies.
And lately I'm a class act like Martin Scorcese,
Cuz I am amazing with my rhymes, you just lazy.
Oh by the way, Kanye said fuck you, pay me.

[A]:
I stopped paying attention, cuz you ain't Paris, ain't worth it.
You busy on your job trying to freestyle in your work 'fit.
Shameful is your flow. Shameful you got no dough.
Mr. T.N.T., you couldn't get a lady or ho.

[K]:
My work 'fit is fresher than your whole wardrobe,
But I'm so ahead I don't ever keep score though.
I'm on my job, so I be livin' well and gettin' tail,
But yo, I don't kiss and tell.
Like Mr. Text-a-nigga-after-crucial-ass-Bacardi's,
Akari, who's on safary at every single afterparty.
Like your name was Allan Quartermain,
Sellin' yourself like you a brick-and-mortar thing
So you be treadin' on the borderlane, oops
I mean borderline like your name was Mordekai
Cuz yo girls be sorta fine, I think they gotta be
sorta blind, to think that you're refined.
Me, I'm a gentleman, Ne-yo said it's my year,
K hit you with quadruple the lyrics for yo ear,
Here, I am perfection, and I got your fobby girls
political, they all be watching for my erection.

And that's it!! Phew!

Verse to 'Good Lovin' [Originally by Slim & Ryan Leslie]

hey baby, i see you givin me the eye
i see you contemplatin on givin me a try
and i, wanna give you a whirl, wanna give you
the world, wanna give it to you infinite, girl
most of all, i'ma give you some good lovin'
i'm the better choice over that good for nothin
cuz i'm as sweet a sugar muffin, so get a taste
i got more swagger than T.I. so let's get away
to a getaway, to a better day, i'm like a
school in the hood, class in a ghetto way
the way we vibe, i think we should set a date
watch me show up all early--just couldn't wait
you runnin laps in my head now, that's what i
said now, come here i wanna see how you get down
aye my lovin ain't good, cuz i'm the best at it
and now you got me feenin like a drug addict
so let's get it...

Verse to 'Comfortable' [Originally by Lil Wayne]

its lovely how you love me on the loveseat
and how you get so bubbly after bubbly
you get all cuddly, how could i say no?
girl you knock me out like a total K.O.
you make me hot, like a volcano
ain't no down time, and ain't no plain ol'
and then we gotta stop just cuz u say so
a man got needs too, but i just lay low
so tonight is different, i put the pants on
then take em back off and take yo pants off
on top of the dryer, and under the table
you puttin in work, cuz you too comfor-table