1st ever text battle

It's the first text battle between a friend and me. A game we play to stay sharp in the world of dull MC's. Hajime!

[A = the homie; K = the... me.]

[A]:
You feeling lyrical my brother? Then have no fear,
It's the Sunday freestyle challenge, let me make things clear.
If you got a couple things that are dear to your life.
Best make sure that you lock em like yo cash and yo wife.
Cause I get wily coyote, straight up dumb in this bitch.
It's mEthoD on the mic and I'm up in this mix.

[K]:
So it's a battle you want, it's one you'll get,
I'm on the pulpit, purge rap of the bullshit,
So don't be foolish, I rule this game mayne
I keep on advancing while you just maintain.
So try to keep up, man, pick your feet up.
You got homies, well I got a gang like Re-Up.
I make bread like pita, it be stackable,
And my flow is comedy, you're just laughable.

[A]:
You got bread like pita? That shit's unleavened.
I let my Pillsbury rise so I got stacks up to heaven.
Drop B-minus like Devon, wait, I mean Dev-on
Battle if you must, but you win? You dead wrong.

[K]:
You ain't stackin', your rhymes straight lackin',
You ill-gamin' lame, you Lil' Wayne-jackin',
Victory comes equipped with my quips, like
I'm rapping for tips, so you can call it quits.

[A]:
Doin' too much with your words, Just be a good Asian
Be a nerd. Talking out of yo ass will have you pleading
the third. But unlike N.E.R.D. you can't see me.
You ain't big time kid, you are simply peewee.

[K]:
It take two more to plead, but it only takes you and
a blade to bleed, so mo-fo please.
I'm in the big league like my name was Jefferson
And I'd be damned if I let you ever win.
And if I do, then never 'gain, I'm a better man
in a higher rank with the better men.
My lyrics run you in circles like a rat race,
Fuck a fit lip, haters leaving with a fat face.

[A]:
I got no mercy for punk bitches like you.
Trying to kick is like kudos with brothas up in yo crew.
Say what you wish, and do what you like,
But I'm the next temptation, you just flying a kite

[K]:
You can get as much as you wanna get, but
You about as tempting as doodoo on a stick.
Honest shit, man, you need to be more trill.
I did the math, two minus two equals your skill.
I'm a force like a forcefield, and I'm at the
Top of my game so how's that floor feel?
You can't step to me, so go and ice yo feet,
Every line you come with, I got twice the heat.

[A]:
Last time I checked, that equaled nil.
And if you know rhymes that's on par with ill.
But I thought you'd know better since math is your subject.
Guess Asian's aren't that smart, at least in public.

[K]:
My math say it ain't your time, cuz read the
sign, we make our own rhymes we don't co-sign.
Cuz every angle you get at with, is merely a
tangent, and I'm a savage at this rap shit.

[A]:
Your game is like your rap: you got no swagger.
Trying to make me bleed? Ha, take lessons from MC Jagger
Put on some soap and lather cause you the dullest dagger.
I got the fire department on the way to save you with hook and ladder.

[K]:
But I got the jaws of life, my rap makes babies.
And lately I'm a class act like Martin Scorcese,
Cuz I am amazing with my rhymes, you just lazy.
Oh by the way, Kanye said fuck you, pay me.

[A]:
I stopped paying attention, cuz you ain't Paris, ain't worth it.
You busy on your job trying to freestyle in your work 'fit.
Shameful is your flow. Shameful you got no dough.
Mr. T.N.T., you couldn't get a lady or ho.

[K]:
My work 'fit is fresher than your whole wardrobe,
But I'm so ahead I don't ever keep score though.
I'm on my job, so I be livin' well and gettin' tail,
But yo, I don't kiss and tell.
Like Mr. Text-a-nigga-after-crucial-ass-Bacardi's,
Akari, who's on safary at every single afterparty.
Like your name was Allan Quartermain,
Sellin' yourself like you a brick-and-mortar thing
So you be treadin' on the borderlane, oops
I mean borderline like your name was Mordekai
Cuz yo girls be sorta fine, I think they gotta be
sorta blind, to think that you're refined.
Me, I'm a gentleman, Ne-yo said it's my year,
K hit you with quadruple the lyrics for yo ear,
Here, I am perfection, and I got your fobby girls
political, they all be watching for my erection.

And that's it!! Phew!

Verse to 'Good Lovin' [Originally by Slim & Ryan Leslie]

hey baby, i see you givin me the eye
i see you contemplatin on givin me a try
and i, wanna give you a whirl, wanna give you
the world, wanna give it to you infinite, girl
most of all, i'ma give you some good lovin'
i'm the better choice over that good for nothin
cuz i'm as sweet a sugar muffin, so get a taste
i got more swagger than T.I. so let's get away
to a getaway, to a better day, i'm like a
school in the hood, class in a ghetto way
the way we vibe, i think we should set a date
watch me show up all early--just couldn't wait
you runnin laps in my head now, that's what i
said now, come here i wanna see how you get down
aye my lovin ain't good, cuz i'm the best at it
and now you got me feenin like a drug addict
so let's get it...

Verse to 'Comfortable' [Originally by Lil Wayne]

its lovely how you love me on the loveseat
and how you get so bubbly after bubbly
you get all cuddly, how could i say no?
girl you knock me out like a total K.O.
you make me hot, like a volcano
ain't no down time, and ain't no plain ol'
and then we gotta stop just cuz u say so
a man got needs too, but i just lay low
so tonight is different, i put the pants on
then take em back off and take yo pants off
on top of the dryer, and under the table
you puttin in work, cuz you too comfor-table

Verse to 'She Got Her Own' [Originally by Ne-Yo, Jamie Foxx, & Fabolous]

posted at the bar, she said what'll it be?
i pointed at myself, and i said 'who me?'
she let out a giggle, said 'it's on me'
got money and she's fine, hoo-wee
drank our drinks, showed me a room key
went up faster than one-two-three
she laid down, i said 'what you think?'
'so far, i been in charge, now you do me'
the next day, i call just to holla
and i ask "aye girl, where you at?
"i'm at work just chasin my dollas"
i'm thinkin tonight u and me run it back
hit a 5-star restaurant, upper echelon
pays the check, and hops in the SLR
the kinda woman i need, independent
but leaves the bedwork to me
i love her cuz she got her own

Verse to 'Therapy' [Originally by T-Pain & Kanye West]

i think i need some therapy
all the bullshit, almost buried me
and i survived, but barely
but dude in the mirror be scarin me
its nothin a few shots can't fix
no big, you and me just can't mix
like a bad dj, you disappoint
i say stuff, but u dont get the point
but its my bad, my bad
u didnt feel what i had
felt, i need help, i need to
learn to cope cuz i'm by me self
maybe i just do too much
maybe i could use a crutch
like a cute nurse who'd take care of me
now that's what i call some therapy
gimme some of that morphine
gimme some more endorphines
i'm tryin to stop my heart
and y'all look at me like 'poor thing'
i'm sick of yall, i'm goin out
find a good girl and we goin out
she'll see the real me and feel me,
while im in the bed, sayin heal me

Lyrics to 'If You Were A Boy' [Originally by Beyonce]

If you were a boy
you'd see things differently
you'd see a man has emotions
even though they rarely show
We drink with the guys
And we talk about girls
But you'd see that we ain't stupid
Though we want to, we won't do it
If it means that we'd lose a good thing

If you were a boy
Maybe you'd realize
That not all of us are playa's
And some of us really try
To make it work
Cuz we've also been hurt
We've seen both sides of the story
When you lose someone important
And everything you had got destroyed

If you were a boy
You would blow up her phone
Cuz you couldnt shake the thought
That she just might not be sleeping alone
You'd see how it feels
To say 'I love you' each day
When you know that in her mind
You're probably cheating anyway (anyway...)

If you were a boy
Maybe you'd realize
That not all of us are playa's
And some of us really try
To make it work
Cuz we've also been hurt
We've seen both sides of the story
When you lose someone important
And everything you had got destroyed

I gave you all my love
How could you do me like that?
Say it's just a mistake
Well so is taking you back
If you thought I could take this,
You thought wrong...

But you're just a girl
You just don't understand
How it feels to love a girl
When you may not be her only man
You never listened at all
You never cared how it hurts
You just went right out and cheated
Thinking I wasn't what you needed
Just like that, what we had was destroyed

'Cause you just a girl...

Lyrics to 'Can't Believe It' [Originally by T-Pain & Lil Wayne]

All my people say yeah...

I could put you on a cruise ship
Buy you all of that new shit
Ain't nothin, I could even buy you
rings every time your mood switch
or...
Get you some Bugati's
And then some Mazerati's
Anything you want, the finest clothes
for the girl with the finest body

Cuz you look so good,
But you just doin the club thang
I can get you on the runway
Maybe Elle magazine by Sunday
You up in V.I.P cuz I wanna get witcha
Well, let me try the bigger picture
Let's talk about about you...
And less about me...

**Hook**
Oh I can't believe it
Ooh ooh, she all on me, on me
Man, man, I think she want me, want me
Now I can't leave her lonely, naw
Oh I can't believe it
Ooh ooh, she all on me, on me
Girl I know that you want me, want me
I'll never leave you lonely, naw...
She hit the club
She make the people say yeah... yeah... yeah...
She hit the dance floor
She make the playa's say damn... damn... damn...

I could put you in the Hamptons
Or 30,000 dollar apartments
I can give you anything, it's all
coming from where my heart is
Let's try somethin different
How bout just hugs and kisses?
Late night phone calls and I'll
hold you whenever you miss me

Cuz you been so good
I wanna do it all for ya
Give you the world or at least
a house the size of California
You up in V.I.P cuz I wanna get to know you
I got a lot of things I wanna show you
Let's talk about about you...
Being with me...

**Hook**

I got a lot of females
who like to bore me with details
who just think they can get free shit
and just gotta give me tail (heh)
Well all this poppin bottles
and all the glamour models
became worth it when I met you
feels like I won the lotto
Cuz we just seems to vibe so right
seems like it should be you and i tonight
far as i'm concerned the room this evening
was reserved for only you and me, and
call it destiny, or ecstasy
but all that matters is u here next to me
its more than just a one night stand
my plan ends with his and her nightstands

**Hook**